TWO SOULS: INTO THE FIRE
"The wind was blowing last night?" Ghost asked.
"Yeah, we heard this whistling noise coming from the back room. It must have been the wind," Trevor said.
Ghost frowned. "In the back room? Oh, you mean that goose we got back in the storage room?"
"Huh?" Trevor had no idea what to say to that. Ghost talked in riddles you had to decipher most of the time.
"Yeah, that's Spirit's goose," Ghost said. "You know, Spirit...our cat? He was hiding under the bed for a long time last night, but came out later and slept with us. He said the goose was loose, and wanted to play...but, then he went to sleep."
Trevor was even more confused, at Ghost's explanation. "Sure, sure...that was probably what we heard."
Ghost narrowed his eyes, trying to get a read on Trevor's thoughts. "Don't pretend like you know what I'm talking about, Trevor."
"Oh, hey...I'm not...I'm just confused."
"I know you are...everybody is, except Steve...and even he is sometimes, too," Ghost said. "Shit, even me...I don't understand me either half the time." He looked up at Trevor, and sighed. "I don't mean to be crazy, Trevor. I never wanted to be, ya know. But, things don't come out right, 'cause, well...'cause my head got busted open too many times, and things get messed up. I know lots of stuff, though. You said I wasn't very smart to Zach one time...I heard you...but, I kinda am, just I can't say it right. So, if I hurt your feelings ever, please don't be mad at me," he took a shuddery breath. "And, making me explain stuff helps me to get it out better. I say too many words, I write too many words, I sing too many words, but it's just...it's just...I have to." He looked down, and cried.
Trevor was trying to think of something to say...to do, when Ghost motioned for him to come over to the swing, with him. Then, as he sat down beside Ghost, Ghost reached out his arms, hugging him tight.
"I just need a hug sometimes," Ghost cried into Trevor's shoulder, then raised his tear-stained face up, kissing Trevor on the mouth.
Trevor was stunned, but didn't back away...he returned the kiss. This is not right, but I like it. Ghost is only the second person I've ever kissed, and it's so different...
Ghost broke away from the kiss, first. "Sorry, I just need to be loved. Steve calls me a whore, 'cause I like sex and kissing, and I know I shouldn't, but I've done it with all kinds of people...whoever will let me. So, just tell me to quit, and I will," Ghost said, looking into Trevor's eyes.
"I know before, I said mean things to you, to leave me alone...but, I was trying to not like you. But, I think I do, now...we're a lot alike...we crave it."
Trevor searched Ghost's eyes, and nodded. "Yes, we are a lot alike, Ghost. I'm infatuated with you, but I'm committed to Zach...so, thanks for giving me love. I need it so, so much, too." He brushed Ghost's hair back. "But, this is all, ok?"
Ghost nodded and smiled. They continued to sit on the swing, wrapped in their blankets. Soon, Zach came out and joined them. He felt that Trevor and Ghost had come to an understanding, this morning. He didn't have to ask, as he looked at the two of them.
They could hear Steve, out in the kitchen, getting his coffee. Then, the screen door squeaked, as he came out onto the porch, with Spirit bounding out, too. He immediately could feel that a silent truce had been made between Ghost and Trevor. As he leaned against the porch railing, looking at them, he knew. Neither one would meet his eyes. He could see Ghost's eyes were still wet from his tears, and both of their lips were reddened. He sighed, and looked away.
It hurt him to know that Ghost always needed more...more than even he could give him at times. But, he'd learned to accept it. This is how Ghost was, and he would take him however he could...no more questions or accusations, ever.
He looked back over at Ghost, knowing he'd heard his thoughts. "Hey, you...good morning," he said, and smiled.
Ghost's bottom lip quivered, but he got control, and smiled back at Steve. "Hey, yourself."
"You need a warm up on that coffee, I think...let's go in," Steve said. He reached out his hand to help Ghost up, and they went inside the house.
Zach was looking at Trevor. He didn't want to say anything, but it was making him feel weird, to know that Trevor and Ghost had kissed. He cleared his throat. Before he could speak, though, Trevor said, "It didn't mean anything."
Zach closed his eyes. "But, why? Trev, I give you all of me, and...it seems like it's not enough sometimes. I don't know what else to do."
"I don't know, Zach. Just...I let Ghost kiss me...I didn't stop him. I just needed to find out what it was like...to kiss someone else, and so I did."
Trevor could feel his heart pounding. He didn't want to hurt Zach, didn't want this to turn out badly.
"And..." Zach asked, "did you find out something?"
Trevor nodded. "Yeah, I did, Zach. It was different...nice, but different. I found out that Ghost means no harm. He needs to be loved, just like me." He paused a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I had a nightmare of a childhood, and you know all of it. Ghost has had some really bad shit happen to him, too. He didn't say what, but it must have been horrible. We were just showing that we cared about each other...in a way that maybe others...you and Steve can never really know. That's all. And, I found out that really is all. I don't have anywhere near the kind of love for him that we have, Zach. It's totally different. Can you understand?" Trevor watched Zach's face to see his reaction.
Zach raised his shoulders, looking intently at Trevor. "In a weird way I do, Trevor. I know there are different kinds of love, and I get it. It just surprised me, that's all. I'm not mad at you...or Ghost." He sighed. "I used to be with anyone who'd have me...and I never once felt love...not from any of them, and not from me to them either...not until I met you. You're the only one I ever let get into my heart, Trevor. That's never going to change."
Zach went to sit on the swing with Trevor. They kissed, and Trevor knew this was the real thing, right here, no doubts at all.
Steve had led Ghost inside, and into the bedroom. Closing the door, he looked at Ghost, his eyes softening, as he smiled. Neither had to say a word. Their need for each other was like a charge of electricity pulsing in waves around them. Reaching out, they tore at their clothes, as they fell onto the bed. This time, there was no holding back the lust and love for one another. Breathing hard, and fast, they were not quiet, letting their passion out in words of love. Not caring who heard them, they were in their own world of pleasure.
Zach and Trevor could hear it all, as they sat there in the swing. They both envisioned what was happening, remembering their own past night. They would not feel or show any embarrassment for themselves, or for Steve and Ghost, as they realized they all needed love, and were secure in the knowledge of their love for each other, as was Ghost and Steve, in theirs.
Next part coming soon!
Peace, Love, and Writing