TWO SOULS: INTO THE FIRE
Kinsey was going over some paperwork, but he knew Ghost had come into the office. He was waiting for Ghost to say something, or come on in, and was getting uncomfortable, feeling Ghost intently staring at him. His head was hurting from all the stress of what had happened to his club.
Rubbing the back of his head, he closed his eyes. He tried to clear his mind of negative thoughts, but it was impossible, with the pounding pain behind his eyes. He figured Ghost was reading his thoughts. He knew from past experience, that Ghost, being an empath and sensitive, he could feel his pain and try to take it onto himself. He hoped he wasn't giving him his headache.
He leaned back, sighing. "What is it, Ghost? You look like you want to say something." He motioned toward the couch, waving Ghost in. Instead of going there, he came around the desk, and knelt down in front of Kinsey.
He grabbed hold of Kinsey's legs, and put his head in his lap, facing the wall. "I need to tell you some things, Kinsey."
Kinsey was surprised, but stroked Ghost's hair, that was streaming over him. "What's the matter? Look at me."
Ghost shook his head. "I can't...not right now. Just listen, ok?"
Kinsey nodded, "Ok, Ghost...I'm listening."
Ghost cleared his throat, "First, I'm sorry you have a headache. It won't last long." He took a deep breath. "I just want to tell you I love you. I already told Steve I love him, too, but he told me to shut up 'cause he was scared. I think I might not be here anymore, so I have to tell you, now. "
"What are you talking about..." Kinsey started, but Ghost shook his head.
"Shhh, just listen..."
Kinsey could feel Ghost's heart beating against him, and his breath on his arm. '
"I feel like I did when I died, before...like I was gone...myself, my soul, was not in me...and, now I feel it again...'cause of the evil. It might...it might..." and Ghost's tears fell, soaking into Kinsey's pants leg. "I'm gonna try not to go...and Steve said he'd hold on, and I need you to hold on to me, too...because it wants to take me away. So I had to tell you now, just in case." He took a shuddery breath.
"Shhh...I know your secret," Ghost said. "It's ok, I've known for a long time. You wanted me real bad that night you slept over in my bed...and I came to you...but you made yourself stop, and pushed me away. It would have been ok...Steve knows I love him. We are always soul mates, forever, and he knows there's other kinds of love, and wanting to give someone pleasure, to make them feel better. And sometimes I want to do that." he sighed. "So, it's ok if you have me tonight, 'cause I might be gone, later."
Kinsey was astounded. Everything Ghost had said about him was true. He thought he'd hidden his feelings from everyone. He should have known Ghost would know. "Oh, Ghost, you're right about it all. I am gay...one of you guys. But, I've kept it a secret for many years. Guess that's why I have a soft spot for y'all. I haven't let myself be me.
Years ago I had a true love, too, but he died a tragic death, an accident, and I vowed there would be no other." Kinsey paused a moment, remembering. "Times were different back then. No one talked about things like they do now. You guys are so lucky, to be able to declare your love out in the open. But, it's passed me by. I did feel a need, that night with you. I hadn't felt that in a long time.
I could never, never act on it, Ghost. It just wouldn't be right. I love you, Ghost, I always have, but it's the different kind of love...you understand? If things had been different...well, look at me. I'm old enough to be your father...I feel like I am, in a way...and it would be so wrong."
Ghost looked up into Kinsey's eyes. "I understand, Kinsey," he whispered.
They took a long moment, each sharing the only kind of love they would ever have...through their eyes. Ghost closed his eyes first, a few tears falling from beneath his golden lashes. He licked his lips, and took a deep breath.
Kinsey smiled, even as his heart broke, for this wounded child...and for himself, for never having had the kind of longlasting love he'd always wanted...the kind Ghost and Steve had.
"Now," said Kinsey, "about this other stuff...you are not going anywhere. I'll take down anyone that tries to carry you away. Do you understand that?"
"Yes, I understand, Kinsey...and thank you. I hope it doesn't happen, and I know you'll help me if it does." Ghost sat back, wiping the tears from his face.
"Ok, then..." Kinsey said, "when is that lover of yours getting back? I'm starving...aren't you?"
"Yeah," Ghost grinned.
And, as if right on cue, Steve came in through the back door. "Hey, I'm back, y'all," he said, coming into the office. He saw Kinsey and Ghost still behind the desk. "What did I miss?"
"Just us talking about stuff," Ghost said, as he got up off the floor.
"Here, grab these boxes and take them out to a table, Ghost. I'll get us something to drink."
As Ghost left the office, Steve looked at Kinsey, who was slightly flushed. "Ok, out with it, Kinsey."
"Out with it?" Kinsey frowned, "out with what?"
"Dammit, Kinsey, I told Ghost not to bother you with his crazy, hocus-pocus shit. But did he listen...hell no. I can already tell he got you upset, didn't he?" Steve shook his head.
"It's ok, Steve. Yeah, we discussed it some. He's really scared."
"I know, so am I. I begged him to call it off, but you know how that went. I'm tired of talking about it, already. I'm telling Trevor we're doing it tomorrow night. Whatever happens over there, it's gonna be over, for good." He went out to get the sodas, from the kitchen.
Kinsey followed, rubbing the back of his neck, again. Ghost had put the pizzas on a table, by the arcade room, and was now playing a game. Kinsey opened his coke, and swallowed a couple of Advil, in the hopes it would ease the headache pain.
"Come on, Ghost," Steve hollered, "it's time to eat."
Ghost finished his game, then looked at Kinsey. "You should have let me give you a potion, but those Advil will make it better, too," he smiled.
Kinsey's heart lurched. He knew Ghost had not seen him take the pills. "Maybe next time," he said.
As they ate, they kept the conversation light. All three of them were trying to ignore the serious subject that was on all their minds. "Well, thanks for the grub, guys, but I have to get back to work," Kinsey said, getting up.
"I gotta get back to work, too," Ghost said, as he pushed back from the table. "Gotta wash some more walls," he said, as if it was hard labor.
Kinsey and Steve burst out laughing.
"What?" Ghost asked.
Kinsey headed back to his office, while Ghost went to the wall, and started washing. Steve cleaned up the pizza boxes, then came to see how Ghost was doing. They both scrubbed awhile longer.
"You done for today, Ghost? We need to go tell Trevor about tomorrow."
"Why don't ya just call him?"
"I tried a bunch of times, but he didn't answer.
"What? Why didn't you tell me? Nobody's heard from them all day...something's wrong over there."
"Calm down, they probably slept all day. That fire kept everybody awake. I'm surprised Kinsey's still up. We'll go over and check on them, ok?" Steve said.
"Yeah, I'll tell Kinsey we're leaving," Ghost said.
"Ok, then," Kinsey said. "I'm going to stay over at Terry's tonight. My room is still messed up." He walked out the back door with them, locking up as they all left.
They were quiet on the drive out to Violin Road. Steve was afraid of what they'd find. Ghost was trying to block out everything...to not be open for evil to grab him.
Next part coming soon!
Peace, Love, & Writing